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Class is in session.

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 67

This week, we go a bit negative and focus on a few really dopey storylines and matches polluting WWE and TNA airwaves -- not to mention a really dumb move by Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Floyd Mayweather Takes On Big Show
I'd rather take a dull pencil and gouge out my eyes than watch this "WrestleMania 24" match. Mayweather is reportedly getting $20 million to take part in this mess, but what is he going to do? Punch Big Show in the butt? Don't get me wrong, I'm not against celebrities showing up at WM24. But boxing is a real sport, and wrestling is a fake sport. To get me to believe that the boxer would actually put his career at risk in a real athletic contest is not only preposterous, but a waste of my money -- and my time. Bottom line: Mixing real sports with fake sports only diminishes the fun I'm having watching the fake sport. I really hope that made sense.

Vince McMahon No-Shows Congressional Steroids Hearing
What a doofus. Vince, you're not that busy. You should have shown up this past Wednesday. All the sports commissioners were there: Bud Selig, Roger Goodell, David Stern and Gary Bettman. Why the no-show? It only forced the subcommittee chairman to rip you big time. Haven't seen it? Well, check out that video clip right here.

Vince, plain and simple, it was a bad idea that you didn't show -- at least to defend yourself. Besides, it was a boring hearing. Having WWE's boss turning a few shades purple under questioning would have been insanely great. One can only hope McMahon will be dragged to D.C. sooner or later.

BunnyMania Invades "WrestleMania 24."
In this tag match, it's "serious" wrestlers Beth Phoenix and Melina versus Playboy playmates Candice and Maria. Good God almighty. How is it that TNA can have decent women's wrestling (the series of matches between Gail Kim and Awesome Kong) and WWE continues to give us this junk? I know that Playboy now has a yearly tie-in with "WrestleMania," but can't these bimbos just serve as managers? Not only that, but it's almost impossible to watch pro wrestling with an 11-year-old boy in the room. When I was a boy, TV wrestling was family entertainment. Not anymore. Now I can handle a pretty girl here and there, but why do I have to explain to my kid what a "pictorial" is?

A.J. Styles, Karen Angle, Jeremy Borash Pollute TNA.
These three are TNA "comedy" staples, with Kurt Angle's wife, Karen, getting married to Styles by accident. It not only makes zero sense, but it's not funny. That's not the worst part of it. The worst part is Borash, who is a pretty decent interviewer, getting wrapped up in this garbage. TNA needs a complete storyline and scriptwriting overhaul before it just implodes of crappiness. It has a decent talent roster and some great announcers (I'm a Mike Tenay fan), but some of the angles are so stupid the promotion is 90 percent unwatchable.

Mike Adamle: WWE host?
Mike Adamle, you should really pretend you want to be there. I know you've had great gigs on real sports shows, and this might not be your perfect job, but get over it. Quit looking embarrassed to be there, get rid of your Donald Trump haircut and learn the roster. There are a zillion guys who would love to be in your shoes, so show a little gratitude and suck it up. You're a professional -- act like it!

There. Rants over. I feel much better. For more crankiness on all things wrestling, don't forget to download Episode 67 of 'Old School, New School' right here! This week, Dr. Mike, George Schire and yours truly tackle Coach, Ric Flair's retirement angle and much, much more. Miss it not!

Before the bell rings, though, I wanted to mention a truly GOOD idea. Once the "WrestleMania 24" card is finalized, I'll run a little contest where readers can try to outguess my predictions. The student who gets the most matches correct will win two titanic DVD sets direct from WWE: "Royal Rumble, The Complete Anthology Volume III, 1998-2002" and "Royal Rumble, The Complete Anthology Volume IV, 2003-2007."

That's a heck of a prize, kids -- 10 discs of 'rasslin fun featuring every Rumble from the past decade. Details of the contest will be revealed here in the weeks ahead. In other words, DON'T send me your list of winners now. I'll put out the call for you to send me your guesses in due time.

That's it!

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )