Professor Wrestling: Letter-Mania
Your Jottings, My Retorts
POSTED: Thursday, May 1, 2008
UPDATED: 10:12 pm EDT May 1,
2008
Listen up!Class is in session.Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 75After a few months of non-stop action in this fabulous column, it's time to answer my overstuffed e-mail folders -- so let's not waste any time. Our first letter is from Steve:Professor: Most normal people grow out of watching wrestling by the time they're 12. I hear you're 47. What is wrong with you? -- SteveSteve-a-reen-o, why do you care what I watch? Who needs to get a life? That would be you, son. Oh, and before you go completely bald -- it's probably time to move out of your mom's basement. (I've used that one before, but I love it.)Up next, Lisa:Professor: I think your column used to be sorta good. But now it stinks. What happened? Are you getting too old for this? -- LisaKid, if you don't like it, don't read it. And I'll have to completely disagree with you -- this weekly foray into scripted tumbling has never been better. Just ask Christian Moore, the independent wrestler I profiled two weeks ago. Miss that one? Shame. Read it again, right here. Up next, Randy:Professor: Who is your favorite manager of all time? -- RandyNot even close, Randy. It would be the fantastic Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. In my formative years, Brain was the manager of Nick Bockwinkel and Ray Stevens, the AWA tag team champions. No one has done it better than Heenan in the history of the game, if you ask me. He was a true performer's performer. He was also a weasel.Professor: Mike Adamle: WWE host? Why? -- Bryant Because this nation has done something terribly wrong and God is punishing us. Perhaps we should be recyling more? Professor: Many fans are rallying behind a part-time wrestler in the WWE, Marty "Cham Pain" Garner. He has actually been in the business a long time and we would like to see him on a full-time, permanent basis. What do you think? -- Christine. Christine, Garner was on "Smackdown!" last week and got squashed against WWE's newest Russian character, Vladimir Kozlov. Will Vince use him again? I'm not sure, but I guess I'm all for giving a guy another shot in the spotlight. So, Vince, after you get done reading this, dump Khali and replace him with Garner on the roster. He'll probably save you $5,000 a month at the WWE commissary alone.Professor: In WWE, who's got it? Who doesn't? Who deserves a push and who's getting more than they deserve? -- JaredJared, I'd say Mr. Kennedy deserves a push, as does Jeff Hardy. Both, I feel, would do just fine as heavyweight champions. Who should be knocked off his pedestal? Khali. The answer is always Khali. He brings nothing to the wrestling table. Nor does Vickie Guerrero.Professor: How much longer will we suffer seeing Vickie Guerrero as general manager on "Smackdown!"? Why doesn't the WWE care enough to bring back Teddy Long? -- FredThis one has always puzzled me. Vickie might be a nice person in real life, but is screechingly awful on the air. Teddy, on the other hand, rules as no other G.M. has. I think Vince is smoking crack on this one -- Vickie should get the boot from the show as soon as Edge kicks her to the curb. Professor: What position do you think Vince will find for Ric Flair now? -- MitchI hear the Nature Boy is doing just fine being an ambassador for WWE, but already has an itch to be on the air again. With that in mind, I can only think that he'll replace William Regal as G.M. of "Raw" in the weeks ahead.Let's close it out this week with a great letter from Frank, who witnesses the following in Orlando on "WrestleMania" weekend:Professor: I am currently employed as a 911 dispatcher. I'm also a certified first responder. I was attending the Mickey James/Torrie Wilson autograph signing in Orlando ("WrestleMania") weekend. I was about five people away from getting an autograph when I observed a man going into an epileptic seizure. I immediately made my way through the crowd to get to the gentleman. Once I got up to the patient I saw him collapse and begin shaking violently. I noticed that he was too close to the table where Mickey and Torrie where seated, and it was a danger to him. I instructed Mickey and Torrie to clear the area around the patient. Mickey immediately got up from the table and Torrie and I moved the table out of the way. I then knelt by the patient and began to administer basic life support. I instructed someone to call 911 and made sure that EMS was on the way. During this time, Mickey James knelt down next to me and took hold of the gentleman hand. When the gentleman came out of his seizure the first thing he saw was Mickey looking down at him telling him everything was going to be OK. She was a great assistance to me while I conducted a patient assessment, as she kept his mind off of what just happened and she was able to keep him cool, calm and collected.She truly was a vital part of the first aid process. I would like to thank Mickey for her help. She was very concerned for the man's well-being and was crying. She truly exemplified what it means to be a WWE superstar.Wow, can't do any better than that. Mickey James, you rule! (You too, Frank.)That's it!Class is dismissed!What? You want more? Then you'll have to download the podcast. It's called "Old School, New School" and we're on our 75th episode. You can get it right here!(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here.)
Previous Stories:
- April 27, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'Backlash' Results
- April 18, 2008: Professor Wrestling: Being Moore
- April 13, 2008: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Lockdown' Results
- April 4, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'WrestleMania 24' Thoughts
- March 30, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'WrestleMania 24' Results
- March 21, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'WrestleMania 24' Contest
- March 10, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'Destination X' Results
- February 29, 2008: Professor Wrestling: Bad Ideas
- February 22, 2008: Professor Wrestling: Chatting With Steve Austin
- February 17, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'No Way Out' Results
- February 10, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'Against All Odds' Results
- February 1, 2008: Professor Wrestling: Arena Tales, Part II
- January 27, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'Royal Rumble' Results
- January 18, 2008: Professor Wrestling: House Show
- January 11, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 2008 Wishes
- January 10, 2008: Professor Wrestling: 'Final Resolution' Results
- December 21, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Holiday Letters
- December 16, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Armageddon' Results
- December 8, 2007: Professor Wrestling: HBK Vs. John Cena
- December 2, 2007: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Turning Point' Results
- November 26, 2007: Professor Wrestling: The Chris Jericho Interview
- November 18, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Survivor Series' Results
- November 12, 2007: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Genesis' Results
- November 2, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Chatting With Rey Mysterio
- October 29, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Cyber Sunday' Results
- October 18, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Plug City
- October 15, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Bound For Glory' Results
- October 7, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'No Mercy' Results
- September 28, 2007: Professor Wrestling: True Tales
- September 21, 2007: Professor Wrestling: The Ring Announcer
- September 16, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Unforgiven' Results
- September 10, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'No Surrender' Results
- August 26, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'SummerSlam' Results
- August 17, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Fantastic Five
- August 13, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Pacman All Talk
- August 2, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Show And Tell
- July 27, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Quick Fixes
- July 22, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Great American Bash' Results
- July 16, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Victory Road' Results
- June 29, 2007: Professor Wrestling: The Benoit Tragedy
- June 24, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Vengeance' Results
- June 18, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Slammiversary' Results
- June 8, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Interview With The Baron
- June 4, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'One Night Stand' Results
- May 25, 2007: Professor Wrestling: WM23, DVD Style
- May 20, 2007: Professor Wrestling: 'Judgment Day' Results
- May 14, 2007: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Sacrifice' Results
- May 4, 2007: Professor Wrestling: Mail Call
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