Listen up!

Class is in session.

WWE is downsizing at the expense of Americans. A pay-per-view called "The Great American Bash" is now just "The Bash." OK, lame joke, but I know you're completely engaged at this point to keep reading this free wrestling-related content. Try to look at the banner ads above and click on the ad links below. It's the least you can do for your country!

Oh yeah, that dazzling content. My predictions -- and results -- of all the big "The Bash" matches. It's right here:

Challenge Match: John Cena vs. The Miz
What Should Happen: Cena has to be thrilled to not wrestle The Big Show again. Sure, The Miz isn't exactly the biggest star in the business, but Cena should do what he can to make the kid look good in the ring. Cena should win, but The Miz should get his licks in as the chicken heel.

What Will Happen: Cena wins handily.

Question To Ponder: Is it turning out that Morrison needed The Miz more than The Miz needed Morrison?

What Did Happen: Cena won handily, as he should have.

WWE Women's Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Michelle McCool
What Should Happen: It's Betty versus Veronica as the blonde takes on the brunette. No Archie in sight. Actually, this might be interesting. Both Melina and McCool are fairly athletic, and seem to know what they're doing inside the ring. The real challenge: having a better match than any of their female counterparts in TNA.

What Will Happen: McCool will take Melina's belt.

Question To Ponder: Quick. Who is the brunette and who is the blonde? Get this one right, and you're watching too much wrestling.

What Did Happen: McCool got the pin and the win.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
What Should Happen: If Mysterio loses, he'll lose his mask. If I were in charge, I'd have him lose – but after his mask is taken off he has enough makeup on underneath that you can't see his true face. That, or another mask underneath. That would frost that jerk, Jericho.

What Will Happen: Mysterio will get the pin.

Question To Ponder: Does anyone watching know that Mysterio wrestled without his mask for awhile back in his WCW days?

What Did Happen: Not only did Mysterio have the second mask underneath, but he won the match. Man, I'm good.

WWE Unifed Tag Team Championship Match: Carlito and Primo Colon (c) vs. Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes
What Should Happen: I love this matchup. Second-generation stars versus second-generation stars. While Primo is the best thing that happened to Carlito, DiBiase was the best thing to happen to Rhodes. I'm guessing WWE wants the heels to have the gold, and I can't disagree. That's what should happen.

What Will Happen: Orton and DiBiase will cheat to win.

Question To Ponder: Isn't it clear that two sets of tag team belts is silly? One works fine.

What Did Happen: Edge and Jericho got added to the match, and won the belts.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: C.M. Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
What Should Happen: This is Wrestling Writing 101. Punk, already halfway to being a heel, completes the deal on this show. I'd have Hardy come real close to winning. Edge comes down, who helps Punk win. Punk completes his transformation. In return, Edge demands a shot at the title down the line.

What Will Happen: Punk just stole the belt from Hardy. He'll retain here.

Question To Ponder: Will WWE fans have the guts to boo Punk?

What Did Happen: Punk got himself disqualified, therefore retaining his title.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
What Should Happen: This is billed as a "Three Stages Of Hell" match. It's two-out-of-three falls. A regular wrestling match starts it out. A falls count anywhere match follows that one. A stretcher match breaks a 1-1 tie. If it were up to me, I'd have Trips win the first bout, with Orton taking the last two. Orton is your "Raw" franchise. Stick with him as champ for a good, long time. At least until "SummerSlam."

What Will Happen: Orton takes this, winning the final stretcher match.

Question To Ponder: Would anyone out there like to see Orton vs. A.J. Styles? I would.

What Did Happen: Orton won the third and final match, keeping his belt.

ECW Championship Match: Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry
What Should Happen: This is probably a good way to have Dreamer involved without exposing his weaknesses. I'd still have him win, though. His title reign shouldn't be relegated to just one month.

What Will Happen: The PPV is in Sacramento, Calif. "California Dreaming." Dreamer. I like my logic.

Question To Ponder: Who would win in a three-way unification match between Dreamer, Orton and Punk? We have a "SummerSlam" main event!

What Did Happen: Dreamer survived, keeping his ECW crown.

That'll do it. For the night, well, I just had ONE PREDICTION WRONG! And to be ever so humble, the result I failed to predict wasn't even a billed match! (Edge and Jericho winning the tag team belts.) The bottom line: I am so the man.

That's it!!

Class is -- dismissed!!!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )