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Teen Drivers Make Parents Nervous

Expert: Your Teen Will Emulate You

POSTED: Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Sitting in the passenger seat while your teen takes the wheel for the first time can make any parent feel stress.

Letting your teen see the fear on your face is wrong, though, , said Jay Van Zeeland, of Tell-My-Mom.com, a site focused on teen driving safety.


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One of the hardest -- but most important things -- to do when teaching your teen is to remain calm, Van Zeeland said.

"Sudden moves or yelling will frustrate everyone on board and will make the learning to drive process something that everyone will avoid," he said.

Eileen Buckholtz said having an organized lesson game plan helps you keep your cool. Buckholtz started the site TeenDriving.com with her son in 1994 as a way to keep parents informed and offer them resources.

Before you even get in the car, Buckholtz said, sit down with your teen and talk about the things you are going to teach.

Before You Start

Buckholtz recommends preparing yourself by sitting in the passenger seat while an experienced driver is behind the wheel so you are aware of things you will notice.

Van Zeeland said parents should take an active role in the entire learning process by attending any classes prospective drivers take and help them study for tests.

Buckholtz said parents should also be aware of the laws in their state and read all of the materials their teen is required to read.

Pick one parent to teach your child at a time, Van Zeeland said. Having both in the car will only distract.

"Each parent will notice different aspects of their driving and will only confuse and frustrate the new driver," he said.

Buckholtz said to also leave siblings at home.

"You don't need the whole crew in the car. It will just distract the teen," she said.

Set An Example

One very important thing Van Zeeland and Buckholtz said is to watch the way you drive.

Children emulate their parents, and if you drive recklessly or aggressively, so will your teen, Van Zeeland said.

Buckholtz agreed.

"How can we expect our teens to be courteous drivers if a parent is cutting people off and speeding?" she said.

Making Progress

Before heading onto the highway, both Van Zeeland and Buckholtz said there are many grounds to cover first.

Van Zeeland said to start with an empty parking lot. This will familiarize them with the vehicle and the basic maneuvers.

Buckholtz said to keep a calm voice and give your teen directions ahead of time so they can prepare for things like turns and braking.

Van Zeeland recommends using quiz-type questions such as, "What is the speed limit here?" while your teen is learning.

Once the car is started, Van Zeeland said to have them drive forward and then let them try starting and stopping smoothly. Then have them try a left turn, a right turn and backing up.

Van Zeeland suggests spending three hours in the lot, really letting your teen get familiar with basic car operations before hitting public streets.

Once they have that down, Van Zeeland said, take them around your own neighborhood, where things are familiar.

He said speeds are slower in residential neighborhoods, which allows reactions to slowly develop. Buckholtz said teens should also be practicing driving routes they take in their everyday life.

"If you need to go to the store to get milk, let them drive," she said. "Driving lessons should mimic what they will be doing in real life."

Van Zeeland said to then have your teen progressively work up to faster and faster speeds. He said to keep it to low-traffic areas.

"While rural roads are not practical for all people, I strongly recommend that they progress through rural highway speeds before trying a controlled highway," he said.

But don't skip freeways altogether. Van Zeeland said teens definitely need experience driving on them prior to getting their license.

Buckholtz recommends doing 100 hours of driving time with your teen and keeping a logbook. She said taking them a few times a week is best, to keep them driving constantly.

Buckholtz also said statistics show many teen accidents happen at night and that you should expose your teen to driving at night often during instruction.

"There are different things they need to be aware of at night," she said. "Part of the process is learning how to handle the car and themselves while being aware."

What They Need To Know

You should also allow them to drive in all types of weather conditions before they take a licensing test.

"Teens need to experience all types of weather and road conditions before they are ready to drive on their own," Van Zeeland said.

Some important things to cover once on the open road are U-turns, parallel parking and one-way street navigation. Van Zeeland said to also cover intersections, merging, acceleration and deceleration in a turn.

Van Zeeland said teaching them car maintenance such as oil changes, tire changing and refueling is a good idea. But he said the most important thing is to teach them safety outside of the vehicle. He recommends stressing the importance of staying inside the vehicle on the side of the road when they encounter problems.

Buckholtz said to make an emergency list for the glove compartment and to go over this with your teen. There should be phone numbers for doctors, hospitals, insurance companies and parents' cell phone numbers.

Handing Over The Keys

Once teens get legal, Van Zeeland said, instruction should not stop.

"A license does not mean that they are a good driver, simply they passed a test," he said. He strongly recommends a contract between the parent and teen with appropriate actions and consequence spelled out initially.

Both said the key to teaching teens to drive is to communicate with your teen and try to make them aware of what a big responsibility it is to drive, without making them fear it.

"Even Gandhi will make a new driver nervous, it cannot be avoided," Van Zeeland said. "Just work with your teen to make it as stress free as possible." Other Links:

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