41-Year-Old Woman Can't Keep 23-Year-Old Man
Guy Won't Tell His Parents About Relationship
POSTED: Tuesday, June 30, 2009
UPDATED: 5:26 pm EDT June 30,
2009
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- Dear DoubleTake,I'm 41, a divorced mom, a professional. I am independent, self-reliant and get along fine with my ex and his wife. I work hard and avoid drama.I've been seeing a guy for nearly a year and a half. He has met my kids, but only a few times. It was G-rated -- kids movies and Wii. No sleepovers when the kids are home. We're really good friends with the added bonus of being passionate and wildly attracted to each other.Things go great for a couple of months and, although we don't fight, one of us decides to take a break. We've both done it. Then a few weeks later we miss each other and start seeing each other again until the whole cycle repeats. Here is why: He's 23 years old.He tells me how he appreciates me so much more than girls his age and all of his friends, colleagues and even his boss know about me. My family knows.But he doesn't consider this a real relationship because he doesn't want his family to know. They are extremely conservative and wouldn't approve.I honestly believe he loves me, but the longer we go on, the more painful a presumed end becomes. I think it could be a real relationship, but he doesn't want to give it a chance because of his parents. It's hard to be in limbo, and I don't know what position to take. Should I just leave well enough alone and let it run its course?
Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.E-mail questions to doubletake@ibsys.com. A new column is published every other Tuesday.To be considered for publication, please keep letters to fewer than 300 words. If you feel more background information is needed, consider adding it as a postscript. Because of the volume of the mail received, Eddie and Betty offer advice only to the letters that are chosen for publication.Double Take writers are not trained psychologists and their responses should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. Double Take reserves the right to edit submissions. Double Take Archive:
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