No. 4: Novelty golf balls

For a lot of golfers, choosing the right brand of ball -- or even types within a brand -- can be a matter of importance just short of picking out a child's name.

Then you come along with a box of middling-quality balls adorned with pictures of Disney characters, funny sayings, geometric designs or even, God forbid, a monogram.

We could put them on display in some way, but sooner or later you're going to expect us to actually use one of these things on the links.

Men who are seen using novelty golf balls on a course are accorded the sort of disdain usually reserved for people who wear T-shirts and gimme caps to polo matches. Foursomes have become threesomes over less. If your dad is going to be playing golf with the vice president for international contracts, don't make him pull out a ball that proclaims his love for Mickey Mouse.

And speaking of T-shirts ...