ORLANDO, Fla. – What to Know:
- Solo maxxing is the decision to prioritize personal growth, financial independence, and life outside of dating.
- The trend reflects broader shifts in dating, the economy, and social norms.
- Living solo can offer more freedom – but economists say it also comes with a “single premium.”
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Well, this is different. Have you ever heard of solo maxxing? If not, you’re probably not alone.
The latest internet buzz phrase, solo maxxing, combines “solo,” meaning single or independent, with “maxxing,” an internet slang term meaning to optimize or maximize a particular aspect of your life. Together, the phrase describes intentionally prioritizing life as a single person.
At its core, solo maxxing is the deliberate decision to prioritize personal growth and financial independence over dating, with supporters arguing that the time, money, and emotional energy typically spent pursuing relationships can instead be invested in themselves (positive solitude).
Solo maxxing doesn’t necessarily mean swearing off dating or choosing a life of celibacy. Instead, the mindset is more along the lines of: “I’m done forcing it and I’m going to focus on myself. If the right relationship comes along, great – if not, I’m still building a life I enjoy.”
The emphasis isn’t on rejecting relationships – it’s on stepping back from the active pursuit and redirecting time, money, and energy elsewhere.
Why Now?
People have always stepped back from dating for a variety of reasons: an exhausting breakup, a string of bad relationships, bad work/life balance, family commitments, or simply because they were tired of the process.
My generation had a different name for this. We called it, “Stop trying so hard – you need to figure out you first.” Not too long ago, staying out of the dating pool was seen as a good way to reset and gain some perspective. Today, several social and economic trends have converged, turning what was once an individual decision into something resembling a broader movement.
Translation: solo maxxing really isn’t new – these days, it’s just framed a different way. In fact, several social and economic forces have pushed stepping away from dating into a recognizable movement:
- Dating fatigue. Ask almost anyone who’s been on dating apps long enough, and you’ll likely hear a familiar refrain: “I’m just tired.” Endless swiping. Awkward first dates. Ghosting. Catfishing. The emotional investment required to meet someone can leave people wondering whether the effort is worth it.
- The economy. Dating has become more expensive. Coffee, drinks, dinner, entertainment, transportation, and even dating app subscriptions all add up. At the same time, inflation and high housing costs have made many people more protective of both their time and their money.
- Changing social norms. Not long ago, spending a Friday night alone often carried a social stigma. Today, solo travel, solo dining, and even taking yourself to a movie are increasingly viewed as signs of independence rather than loneliness.
Dining alone has become commonplace. Solo travel has grown into one of the fastest-growing segments of the tourism industry (one study says women in fact now make up 71% of solo travelers). People routinely attend concerts, festivals, sporting events, and even take cruises by themselves. Instead of being viewed as a sign that something is missing, many people now see these experiences as expressions of confidence and independence.
- The emergence of social media. Fifty years ago, social media simply didn’t exist. In fact if you go back to the history of the first big three social media sites, Friendster didn’t launch until March 22, 2003, Myspace was right on its heels on August 1, 2003, and Facebook followed on February 4, 2004. Instagram and TikTok were late to the party, but now dominate: October 6, 2010 and September 20, 2016 respectively.
Social media didn’t create solo maxxing – it did, however, give it a name and an audience. Millions of people now document solo vacations, solo dining, and independent lifestyles online. Instead of portraying singlehood as something to escape, with the emergence of the “influencer,” many people now present it as something to embrace.
- The idea of marriage is shifting. Americans are waiting longer to marry than previous generations, and more adults are remaining single for longer periods of their lives. That shift has made singlehood less of a temporary stop and, for many, a lifestyle that doesn’t need to be “fixed.”
In 1975, the median age for marriage in America was 23.5 for men and 21.1 for women. Fast forward fifty years and you’ll see how dramatic the shift has become: the median age for men is now 30.8 and for women it’s 28.4. Furthermore, marriage is no longer the default household: in 1975, 66% of American households were comprised of married couples. Today, that percentage is 47%.
Perhaps the biggest reason solo maxxing has gained traction is that today’s young adults are spending far more of their lives single than previous generations. Rather than viewing those years as a waiting period, many are choosing to treat them as an opportunity: they’re choosing to invest in themselves while remaining open to whatever comes next.
The Single Premium
Living the single life isn’t all sunshine and savings.
While solo maxxing does have its perks, there are downsides as well. In fact, economists have a name for one of its biggest financial drawbacks: the “single premium.”
The idea is surprisingly simple: when you’re in a relationship or sharing a household, many of life’s biggest expenses are divided between two people. When you’re single, those same expenses often fall entirely on one person.
Welcome to Singlesville: population you.
To be fair, embracing solo maxxing can save money in several obvious ways. Think about these expenses you may avoid:
- Date nights
- Valentine’s Day gifts
- Engagement rings
- Wedding expenses
- Anniversary gifts
Those are the obvious savings, and they’re often the examples supporters of solo maxxing point to first. But what about the flip side? From a financial perspective, you may spend less on dating, but living alone often means paying for:
- 100% of the rent or a mortgage, utilities, internet, cellphone, and entertainment subscriptions
- 100% of groceries (reducing your economies of scale)
- 100% of transportation expenses (yes, married couples get much higher discounts on auto-insurance)
- 100% of vacation accommodations – one of the reasons economists coined the term “single premium”
So is solo maxxing actually saving people money – or is it simply shifting where that money gets spent?
Dating less may save you money. Living alone probably won’t.
The Psychology of Being Single
Money, however, tells only part of the story.
If solo maxxing were simply about dollars and cents, the debate would end with a calculator. But – choosing to remain single also raises a different question: what does the research say about happiness? Can intentionally spending time by yourself improve your mental health, or does it come with risks of its own?
A 2023 study published in Scientific Reports found that people who spent more time alone often reported lower stress levels and a greater sense of autonomy. But there was an important caveat: those same researchers also noted benefits were strongest when the solitude was voluntary rather than forced. In other words, when people chose to spend time alone rather than socialize, they often experienced measurable psychological benefits.
Everything changes when solitude isn’t a choice.
That same study found that when people spent time alone because they felt isolated or lacked meaningful social connections, they were more likely to report feelings of loneliness and lower life satisfaction. The research suggests that the key isn’t simply whether someone is alone – it’s whether that solitude is by choice.
And that’s an important distinction: loneliness is a feeling – solitude is a choice. One can be healthy and restorative; the other can be emotionally damaging.
Finding the Balance
Like many lifestyle trends, solo maxxing isn’t inherently good or bad – it depends on why someone chooses it.
If stepping away from dating gives someone the opportunity to improve their finances, focus on their career, strengthen friendships, or simply recharge emotionally, there can be meaningful benefits.
But if independence slowly becomes isolation, the same lifestyle can produce very different results.
Perhaps that’s why psychologists make such a clear distinction between solitude and loneliness. One is intentional – the other isn’t.
That distinction may help explain the appeal of “solo maxxing.” The trend isn’t about encouraging isolation – instead, it promotes intentionally choosing independence while still maintaining meaningful friendships, family relationships, and other social connections.
Whether solo maxxing proves to be a lasting cultural shift or simply the latest name for an old idea remains to be seen. Solo maxxing isn’t changing the definition of happiness; it’s changing the timeline.
And for a growing number of Americans, being single during that timeline is no longer something to get through – it’s something to build upon.